| the clock is ticking |
[25 Nov 2006|02:35am] |
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Breath after a coma - Explosions in the sky |
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sooo yeah i haven't updated. Not really much to update ABOUT. Recently been hanging out with some kool niggaz who i've gotten close to at JCC. I'm not going to go anymore since it's a waste of my time. Parties every weekend. Working at wal mart's pretty sweet. I love the money i will be getting thursday. Last night was kool. After work, hung out with Chris Matt Sarah Zak Abbie and Fred! Good times. we all played guitar hero at Zak's house. Real kool. On the way back i shit you not, matt and i saw a fucking UFO. At least we think it is. IT was this bright green blue light that was zooming through the sky like maybe 100 feet above the trees. It was going way too fast to be a plane. I mean this thing looked like it was going 200 mph or something. I've seen tons of planes land and even when they're low, they pass by pretty slowly. This thing was hauling ass and then it disapeared. Shit was fucking crazy man! Tonight got out of work and went to play some hold em' at Timo's house with fred zach jordy and some other kids. Good times. Texas lost today because the ref's decided it'd be kool to fuck the seniors on their last home game. Colt got injuried and i about started crying when they carried him away. He raised his arm to show he was going to make it and everyone started cheering. Fucking sad shit. Ummm yeah that's all really. I plan on going to the movies tomorrow. Whether it be alone or with someone, because i REALLY want to see Bobby. That movie looks damn good. Maybe Borat too. Make it a double feature because i feel saucy! haha. My mom saw Terry at Panera today. She was leaving back for mass. and she talked to her. She sent me a message asking me how i was doing and shit. I miss that girl so much. She's such a sweet heart.
The clock is fucking ticking. Out of here Soon. Almost done. Parents don't want me to leave for another six months, but i know when i'm ready to go, and i'm ready now. I will give this place my month notice before i turn in my badge for a Texas one.
Soon Chris and I will be chillin in MY city son!
Leave some
Anthony
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| I find it kind of funny. |
[06 Nov 2006|01:28am] |
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the frig humming |
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Sometimes i sit around wondering why it is that some people can just do the most cruel things ever to people they claim to care for. We humans have a lot of progress to make.
How can you honestly tell someone how much they mean to you. How much they go through your head a day and then just go and hurt them? I'm still wondering. I'm still pondering why anyone would want to do that. People can be the most heartless thing ever. It's truely sad.
I don't want to make this whole entry so down and depressing so i'm gonna tell you about my week/weekend. School's going okay. Hanging out with Fred is always a good time. Love that kid so much. Went to lunch with him, zach, and ed on friday. good times. Hung out with Chris Phinney and Riley on friday! Good times. Chilled with Phinney and Quack for a while. Saturday night went a party at Ed's house. That was a fucking adventure. Met some really fucking kool people from Carthage High, which is kind of an oxymoron but they really are nice. These two pretty girls. Quack spent the night. We chilled and he went home. All is going good. Well most is going good. Some things can ALWAYS get better. I'm ready for school tomorrow. I want to work out and i want to practice tomorrow night. Hopefully write some music. I'm going to go to re sale america and buy a fucking tape recorder thing so we can tape our practices. Gotta get on the ball.
Well i'm probably gonna cut this one here.
66 Days and counting.
Southern by the grace of god
Anthony
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| So did you know how much i love not being in NY? |
[23 Oct 2006|04:16pm] |
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Spanish Channel |
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Oh man i'm just getting up hahaha. Yesterday was okay. I didn't do to much until later. My dad and i watched a couple movies with my grandma and had lunch with my Aunts. It was pretty awesome. Roger gave me a call and we just talked for a while and he was going to call me when he got home. This is one thing i love about him is the dude gets home late and he's like "man, i didn't get any fucking sleep. i'm tired as fuck, but we're still going to hang out". I was like "yes! what a fucking tropper". So we're trying to come up with an idea. We can't really chill at his place cause his parents and sister are sleeping so he's like "dude lets just got out to eat and then go shoot some pool". Fine by me! We went to taco cabana(yeah when you live here, you'll realize how awesome that shit is, and when you're away from it, you'll realize how awesome that shit is). So we went fucking cruising and then got to Slick Willie's where i parked like a total fucking D.B. hahaha. I swear to god i took up 3 parking spots hahaha. I felt like being a dick i guess haha. So we go in there and play some pool for like an hour. I beat him twice and he kicked my fucking ass like 10 times hahaha. It's all good though. Then i asked him where he wanted to go after that and he was like "whatever mayne!". I said "fuck it. lets go cruise downtown". We got in the highway and just talked forever. It reminded me of how chris and i go on cruises and just fucking talk about life. It's so healthy. Then we get downtown and Roger's like "You better keep the doors locked" haha. We came to this stop light and i swear to god it seemed to have stayed red for like 4 hours! He's like "jesus christ we're going to get shot. this must be the deadman's stop light". Shit was crazy. But we continued cruising looking all paranoid and shit hahahaha. I love being downtown but at night, i swear it's like something from a horror movie. We saw these 3 white ladies that looked fucking LOST on the side of the road and across the street was a gang of mexicans. I was like "oh my god white ladies, run! run!!!!!". Hahaha shit was funny. Then we went back to his place for a little while and watched tv and just chilled. It was like 4 in the morning when i was driving home. Shit was rough cause i was so sleepy but i pulled it of because the speeding limit's 75. I just woke up like an hour ago and my Tia Rachel made me breakfast tacos. I fucking love it here so much. My dad and I are probably leaving tomorrow to go back to NY, which is awesome and a bummer. Awesome because i'll see all you fags and the party is saturday, but not awesome because it's probably cold as shit, and the coldest it got here was 55. I dunnnnooooo haha. But yeah i'll probably post again tomorrow so let me know how life is.
Leave some por favor
Anthony
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| Hook 'em Horns |
[21 Oct 2006|11:24am] |
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College Gameday |
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Last night was pretty kool. My dad and i went looking for a billards place to go play pool but most of the ones we found were 21 and up. So we said fuck it and drove around. Went a couple places and hung out for a while. Then we passed Walmart and i i remembered that Roger was working so we went there looking for him. Everyone was clueless on who i was talking about when i asked about him being there. Found him and talked to him for a little while. Then we went to Sonic and chilled there but it was already late so we just called it a night because i knew we had to get up early. Today we're going to go to Austin and watch the game with a bunch of texas kids! Gonna pretty sweet. Going to the store as well to go buy some merch brah!!!! haha. I can't wait. I'm getting kind of hungry so i think i'm going to cut this one short so we can find somewhere to go. I'll probably update tonight.
Leave me some fucking lovings!! You know you want to
Anthony
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| Texas>everywhere else. |
[20 Oct 2006|07:49am] |
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That folk band's stuck in my head haha |
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So yeah i love being here. My flights were so gay though. I'm not going to lie. Worst experience being stuck in Cincinatti Ohgayo. Fuck that. But fuck the bullshit! I got here at like 4:45 local time yesterday and i've gotta say, so far, i want to be back here. My dad and I drove around Austin and checked a bunch of shit out. We went to the campus and went to the stadium. I was in awe at how fucking huge that stadium is haha. We went out to eat at some Wing place which was pretty good and took off. The whole time i saw SOOO many beautiful girls wearing TEXAS shirts and hoodies. I just about died. It was pretty amazing. Not going to even lie. We drove down 35 to the great city of SAN ANTONIO! My dad's like "hey lets go check out who's playing at the white rabbit" so we do. We get there and The Chariot is headlining a show with August Burns Red. Bad name, Good band. I was so stoked to be at my first Hardcore show in SA since god knows when. I was trying to make the comparisons between here and syracuse. This is what i got
S.A.: Kids two stepp different and most don't use much for their arms. They're really fucking friendly. They all seem to know each other and greet new comers with a smile. Nobody gets into fights. Nobody tries to own the pit. The promoters aren't in everyones business. Kids know every lyric to every song and show so much support for the bands they see. Nobody is trying to be better than anyone else.
Syracuse: Exact opposite and really gay.
So i was pretty stoked when i saw this shit. I was kinda skeptical of SA at first because i didn't know how the kids were going to be, and thank god they're nothing like Norwood kids. Gross haha. I made a couple new friends. That was pretty kool. When i told them i have been going to shows in syracuse they were like "oh man! syracuse? that's like legend huh?" and i kinda laughed because it's not anymore. Fuck syracuse.
So the show went pretty well. I danced a little bit and met some new people. Before i left they all shook my hand and gave me a hug. That's what REAL Hardcore's about. Syracuse should take a page from S.A.s book. My dad and i started to leave when this guy just came up to us and was like "hey you like bob dylan?" and at first i thought that might be slang for a drug because he had his hand in his pocket but he really meant the question. So i hesistated and finally answered yeah sure why? He was like "Well i'm in this band and we're having a show right down the street. It's only 3 blocks and if you're interested you should def. check us out". This was at like Midnight. My dad and i looked at each other and said "hey, fuck it. lets go". They were actually really good. I don't remember their name but i'm going to look them up. They played some pretty good folk rock and i was def. into it. Then my dad and i went cruising on the streets of SA town and that was pretty fun. He took me to this pool hall/bar place where everyone greeted us. I felt at home. It's ran by this old couple who are so sweet. Really nice people. Then we went out to eat at taco cabana at like 2:30. Yeah it's pretty fucking sweet here hahaha. Now we're at my grandma's and i'm probably going to crash since i'm getting really sleepy. That's my first day of being back in Texas. If everyday is like that, trust me, i won't be in NY for much longer.
Leave me some Comments
Anthony
p.s. i miss all of you homos in ny.
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| I need a job asap |
[15 Oct 2006|09:43pm] |
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I applied to Petco just a few minutes ago. Wish me luck. I really need to get a job asap. I'm finally going to school haha. I've missed a lot of it so i'm glad i'm going back. I'm not sick anymore so i'm glad. Band practice is coming along REALLY nicely. Riley's getting that double bass down like crazy. Pretty stoked. I wish my 5150 was finally working. I hope Phinney can get an amp if he plans on playing guitar. It's coming along really good though. Shit's intense! I spent my whole weekend here. So that means, next weekend, i want to go leave. Who's got plans? Any ideas? Anyone???? Everybody seems to be out of town all the time and i'm just sitting here being me haha. Lame. Gotta figure some shit out. If you wanna make plans PLEASE let me know. I'm free all the time. It's getting so cold. I am so not ready for it. The door's open right now and i feel like i'm going to freeze to death. Oh how i don't miss those freezing cold days, but do i miss snow days. Abbie's party can't come fucking soon enough!! ERR. I've been watching SCRUBS lately. That show is so fucking funy. I don't think they make any new episodes but i love it. Zach Braff is amazing haha. So who's up for hanging out next weekend? Let me know please!
You don't even seem like you want me around baby? Cover up my name so nobody can see. I'm running out of ideas
Anthony
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| Oh i've been sick lately. |
[11 Oct 2006|09:01pm] |
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Straylight Run |
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Yeah i've been sick. Yesterday i had the worst fucking headache ever. Then that night my arms and legs got really cold but my head was fucking burning up. It was awful. After i got some sleep i've been feeling a lot better, but i still get a little dizy when i stand up. My body also aches. I don't know what's wrong with me but i hope it goes away soon. I've missed a lot of school lately. The last pass two days i've missed. I think it's a mix of 1. i don't want to go because i hate waking up early, and 2. if i'm moving, i don't see the point. My mom's given me the option "When YOU want to move, We will." I don't know what i want to do. It's all a big headache to me. Today Jarrett and I are probably going out to Riley's and then possibly to a Carthage soccer game with him and Phinney. We're awesome like that.
I've realized that sitting in a hot shower, feels soooo good. I did that all last night and it def helped. The whole time i was trying to take a step back and look at my life. From the biggest to the smallest details about it. Am i truely happy? No. Am i okay though? Yes. Will i be alright? Of course. But i mean...i don't want to sound selfish but i want it to work out better for me ya know? I want to be more determined. Sometimes i seem so lazy and i fucking hate it. I feel so apathetic. I hate it. I really need to work on my hard work and determination.
Last night i was thinking of some things and for some reason this came into my mind:
It's funny how our numbers in the line that is life, have come together. We stand here together as if fate has done it. But what am i supposed to do, if i'm not the one holding your hand? I'm so scared. I'm so terrified that i've made a huge mistake, but i'm so hard headed that i know it'll stay this way. Tigers can't change their stripes and i can't change my mind(heart). The 28th needs to come a LOT sooner. I just want to be able to see my life on that day.
Leave me something
Anthony
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| I really need to make more with my weekends |
[08 Oct 2006|12:26am] |
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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Album by PTW |
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Last night was okay. Matt Riley and Quack spent the night. It was pretty alright. We went out to walmart and stole some goodies haha. Fred hooked us up with some fucking free cookies. That was nice of him then after he got out of work, we talked. I'm going to be calling there soon hopefully so they'll hire me. Today Texas played Oklahoma so Riley Matt and I all watched it. It was a beautiful sight. Texas beat oklahoma 28 to 10. Yay. I'm glad i don't have school until tuesday, but i'm not pleased with what i'm doing with my weekends. Nothing. Last night we also stopped by a party that Matt Childs and his friends were throwing. it was whatever. I mean all anyone was doing was watching people play beer pong. I wasn't impressed with that but it was good to see matt. I really need to get out more though. Chris is out of town and i'm wishing i had gone with him haha. It probably would've been awesome. So Riley Matt and I are coming along with a band and it's coming pretty good. We've been fucking around on guitar and writing some shit. Not 100% on what we're going for but we know we want to play music and have fun. It's getting kinda cold. I don't know if i'm ready for the winter, but i know the winter doesn't care. I wish i could just close my eyes, and when they reopen, life is the way it should be. I want things to work out. I haven't stopped thinking about Abbey. I'm glad she's doing good. We talked the other day and that was good. She def. means a lot though, so just because life doesn't end up like i want it, doesn't mean anything should change. I do think about her a lot though. I don't want to go to school anymore and i want to start working so i'm not just sitting here.
I'm so glad i have my friends in my life. I couldn't do anything with out them. All of them have been helping me out. I really owe a lot to Ash. She's been there a lot and it's not been easy, believe that. She makes me so happy because she comforts me almost like my mom. Like i remember being young and being heartbroken and crying and my mom just being "it's okay anthony. i love you and you'll be okay. i promise. you've got such a big heart that one day, it'll all fall into place for you". My mom still does that but i've got ash doing that too, and it's so amazing. I love her. I'm also glad i've got Chris in my life. Going on drives with him helps me a lot. I can just get whatever off my chest and i'll know he'll listen. We can get lost on the road, play any music, and it'll be the greatest relief. He makes me laugh when i need it and he shows me that, he'll be there no matter what.
I'm so grateful for the friends i have.
I love you all so much. I'm sorry if i didn't say you're name, but trust me, you've got a post coming up soon.
Anthony
p.s. My mom always told me "You're a great son. Great sons make great husbands". You think that's true?
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| Don't wait too long to jump ships, because you might be too late |
[03 Oct 2006|04:46pm] |
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Death cab for cutie |
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I'm not quite sure on how to start but i'm going to explain what's going on in my life right now.
There's a girl that i've known for quite a while who i've been talking to a lot lately. I mean, we've known each other since like begining of last year probably. Sweetest girl and the most beautiful girl i've ever talked to. Well we recently began talking a lot like the old days. This began around the time i got back from san antonio. I shortly remember how awesome it was to talk to her, and how much we had in common. Soon after that i realized that i thought about her all the time. I thought about what she was doing and where she was. I would think, man that girl is something special. She really is. I don't know or understand how someone could ever be mean or treat her wrong. I started talking about her to my friends and telling them about this girl i've known for sometime who i'm really into. They'd tell me "Anthony, look. You've been here before. You've fallen for people too quick before and i really don't want to see you getting hurt". I took their advice because i've fallen hard for other people and ended up getting really hurt. So i thought i'd go safe on it. But then our conversations got really deep. We'd talk about children, families, what we want out of life, and all sorts of things. I would make her laugh and she'd make me smile. It'd be so perfect. That's when things started to changed. I knew i was falling for this girl. I KNEW i had more feelings for her than just "oh she's hot". Every time she would tell me that she was going to bed, i would just be thinking "please don't leave just yet". Every time i would hear that she wasn't feeling good, i'd wish that i could be close by to comfort her. I was scared though. I was truely terrified that the same thing would happen with her, and i know i couldn't handle that. So i told her how i felt that girls only date guys who treat them bad and we talked about ex's and things like that. She then told me that she would love to be with someone like me. She told me that i live too far from here and that she hates how life's like that. Hearing that, i knew i had to ask her if she felt anything. Then i find out she's already got a boyfriend now. I find out that he actually treats her very well. I still had to ask her what it all meant. My hands are shaking and i'm really scared, but i know i have to do it. So i do. I ask her what she meant by what she said, and she responds by telling me that she didn't know. She tells me she thinks she's retarded. Never could i ever think that. I ask her what she meant i needed to know so i wouldn't be stuck having feelings for someone who doesn't have them or never did. She then tells me what i wanted to know for so long. Yes. She did have them. She had so many of the same feelings i have for her, but now she's not single, and she's moved on. I told her that all i want is her to be happy and if it's with him then i'm happy. I guess i came in too late. I guess the ship's set sail, but you know what, i don't care. I know how i feel about this girl and i know i can't let it go. I honestly don't care how far she is, or if she's with that guy. I'm going to keep having these feelings for her and i'm not going to stop thinking about her. I'm not. I know that if i had it my way, we'd live together. I feel so much for this girl that i just want to be with her. I want to see her smiling face. I want to make her feel better when she's not feeling good. I want to take her out to places and see things. I want to tell her how beautiful she is and how much she means to me. If i had to walk all the way to see her, i would. I don't care about this distance. All i care about is her. I want her to be happy, and i know i could make her so much happier. I know i could. I look at the phone and hope to god that she's called. I lay awake at night wondering how she's doing. I really wish life was so much easier.
I need you so much closer
Anthony
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| Old memories |
[24 Jul 2006|12:54am] |
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The Postal Service and DCFC |
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Tonight i went through my livejournal from the oldest entries and found so many good memories and some really bad memories. Yeah..I really miss some of them sooo much. I wish i could have them all back and be happy still.
Last night was joe's party. Really fun. Good times. I'll have to update some other time because i need to do some things and then bed.
Talk to you later
Anthony
Leave messages now
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| Guess who's Awesome? |
[02 Jul 2006|01:45am] |
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Chamillionaire's greatest hits |
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well not Ronald Regan that's for sure.
I graduated! i'm so happy. I'm living it up in San Antonio Texas right now as i'm typing this bad boy. I'm staying at my aunt's house and my grandma's house. I've been spending money like crazy. Last night i had my 2nd graduation party and i ran away with 220 bucks. I was surprised cause a lot of people are out of town and i didn't think i was gonna get anything. It feels so good to be back in this city. i love this city. when i'm done with JCC i'm really going to try and save up to come here. Being here gives me that feeling like "this is where you belong." I'm going to miss a couple REALLY(real, real) good friends of mine. But i know they'll come down and bring their happy asses here. I've hung out with Roger a couple of times since i've been here. It's been awesome catching up with him. He's got a girlfriend and i'm probably meeting her tomorrow. I'm really glad for that mother fucker. Bout time he got serious. Romero drove down from new york so that means we're using my mom's truck and everything. Pretty sweet. My pops was here from Iraq. he was at my graduation and then came down here with us but left early today (yesterday i guess). He's going back to iraq. He might do 6 more months because it's a lot more money a month. I know he's safe so i'm not too worried but i'm going to miss him a lot. He's one of my best friends and i'll never deny that. We got to hang a lot. Chris, Ashley, Abbie, and Zak are in Maine right now. fucking crazy. We're like at opposite sides of the country. Intense haha. I miss them so much. When i get back, i'm going to try and spend as much time as i can with them. I'm gonna start skating again. I haven't skated in god knows how long but i'm gonna start up again. It should be a good time. I need to enroll at JCC and get a job! I hope they don't give me shitty hours, but money's money i guess. I've been buying so much clothes and CDs here. Its just redonkulous. When i get back to New York theres going to be a lot of business to attend to. Lots of people calling my phone and saying they're going to kick my ass? Hahaha okay HOSS!! People attacking my friends(verbally and physically). That doesn't fly with me. EVP will be on that shit in a second. Oh welllll. I guess that's it for right now. See ya laters
tu lea? tu comentarios por favor!!!
BIG TONE
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| Guess What the fucks up!!! |
[14 Jun 2006|11:29pm] |
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Okay this is going to be kinda short so CHECK IT
I'm going to fucking graduate!!!! i'm so stoked! I had fears because i wasn't doing so hot in my chemistry class and i need it to graduate. Turns out my mom got a call from my guidance counsoler. He told my mom that i had passed the test and i will be walking that fucking stage!! I'm so glad and relieved. SENIOR PRANK was amazing. we pretty much fucked the school up. Great night. Last night was the lamest fucking party ever. Smoking crack is not kool, for all of you teenagers. Nothing is "cool" about smoking that shit. Sorry. Matter of fact, i wouldn't fuck a girl that does, with your dad's dick. But anywho, hung out with some real good friends and that was great.
Other good news, i've met this really kool girl and we've getting to know each other. I'm really stoked because we have so much shit in common and it's just awesome talking with her. She's so pretty, and that's always a plus! I can't wait to hang out with her. But yeah that was pretty much my week? haha
Well leave some comments mother fucker!!!
XBIGTONEX
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| I don't need to defend myself. |
[07 Jun 2006|08:31pm] |
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Phone with Roger |
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I love how people i haven't talked to in like 2 years (i.e. Riki, and Jessica) post comments about shit they have NO idea about. ABetterPerson? It's obviously a person i used to know who also doesn't know the situation. If you read my journal and disagree, keep that to yourself, because unless i see you more than once ever 2 years, your opinion PROBABLY doesn't mean shit to me.
You think i'm a meathead who wants to fight the world because i have beef with one person? Yeah you obviously don't know me. I'm not going to fight someone who hasn't disrepected me. I won't hit someone just for the fun of it. I WILL fight someone though, who has disrespected my best friends who i care about, my family who i love, or me. That's where you've cross the line.
If you're not:
Roger
Chris
Ashley
Sarah
Alex
or a couple more people...
You're comments on my updates probably don't mean shit to me, so please keep shit to you.
XBIGTONEX
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| Seriously why don't you shut your fucking mouth |
[27 Jan 2006|02:32am] |
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The Warriors "War is Hell" Notorious B.I.G. "Juicy" |
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Oh my my my. I LOVEEEE when people IM me talking shit. "oh fuck you fat ass" "you're a fat ass". HAHAHA. . You don't know ANYTHING about me besides my name, my age, and my interests. SO this Dubby(yeah sweet fucking name. is that green day song? HAHAHA) kid IMs me cause he's pissed that i fucked his girlfriend(ex?) and starts talking shit to me. Okay 1. This kid is a big nobody, who still uses the word "poser". 2. He's pissed cause she wanted me more than him. 3. Tries telling me i'm not straight edge cause of it, and he knows absolutely NOTHING about being straight edge.
Hahahahahaha. I love these fucking NNY kids who run their mouthes thinking they have some fucking pull around here. It makes me laugh soo hard to hear their insults, cause i swear, my 2 year old nephew could say some worse shit than these fucking worthless pieces of shit. Come to my face, and talk shit to me brotha!!!! PLEASE come see me and talk shit first.
ATTN: Shit talkers, Haters, People who have a problem with me, etc.
PLEASE COME SEE ME BEFORE YOU LEAVE ME SOME "SCARY" MESSAGES ON AIM. I MEAN YOU'VE PROVEN YOU CAN SCARE THE SHIT OUTTA SOMEONE ON AIM(HAHAHA), BUT DO IT IN PERSON.
Notorious B.I.G. said it the best: AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW NIGGA!!
Sooooooo today was kool i guess. I watched Snatch and a couple Sopranos episodes with mi madre. Then i went to lunch with CHRIS TOE FERRR and Ash be Gash!!! hahaha new name. We ate at Quiznos which was super fun. Went to the mall and then the gym to work out with my soldiers and ash. Good times. Came home and played several games of pool. I love beating peoples asses!!! Good shit.
Tomorrow i'm going to syracuse to get my tattoo outline done and hang out with Michelle!! We're going to fucking watch THE WARRIORS. I'm pretty stoked about that. Then coming back to go to Midnight Basketball at the Y.S. Hopefully Florencia's there so i can see her. That girl makes me smile x millions.
WELL I'M DONE. IF YOU READ, LEAVE A COMMENT.
SEE YA
DON XBIGTONEX
P.S.
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| and i can't take my eyes off of you. |
[31 Dec 2005|05:39am] |
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"The Blower's Daughter" Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan |
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Life's a storybook. You read it and go through life. You can always look back, but you never really go back. As much as you wish, as much as you can taste it, You will never go back to the way it was. You can shed as many tears as you want. You can lock yourself in your room, turn off all the lights, sleep, and nothing will change. Why is it that, when you don't look for love, it comes, and when you do, it never shows it's face? Why does it always seem that everything we need control of, seems to be out of our control? Questions were created to satisfy the human race of their problems and to bring them to light. I don't really need to question anything, but i will. I promise I will. I don't need to question why life a year ago tonight, can't be exactly how it was then. New hearts. New voices full of excitement. A year. What does that mean if it doesn't seem like what it was before?
The only resolution I will have is this...
______________
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| I haven't done this in a long time |
[04 Dec 2005|02:59am] |
But i guess i'm going to throw shit up on this mother fucker. HAHAHAHA. Fuck this thing.. I don't know. I might just start doing this. I dunno. Lets see this is my life:
- I work that the north gate shoppette(those who aren't familiar with the military it's a gas station)
- I've been hanging out with Jones, Matt, Justin, Matt"weener"Weaver, and just random ass people.
- I've talked to my first girlfriend EVER like a week ago, and this kid i used to know back in 4 - 7th grades, found me on myspace. It's pretty kool.
- I've been buying crazy amounts of clothes off Ebay. I love it.
- I might be going to San Antonio for christmas if the plane tickets aren't half a grand
- It's offical: Come august, I'll be living in San Antonio for schoool!!! I'm soo fucking stoked.
- I've been getting up to date with the TXHC
- I've been listening to tons of Chopped and Screwed shit.. I love it so much, but i always have.
- Texas is going to the National Championship and that football team, is my fucking life
- I'm currently in potsdam, and it's kinda boring/kinda fun. Weird
- I don't really want a relationship right now, but i am talking to someone(s).
- I wish i could see my grandma right now cause i miss her so much
- I'm going to be doing a show in january with matt that will include THE WARRIORS!!!
- I'm going to get the rest of my left arm tatted. I'm going to get a city at my wrist and then having B2 bombers bombing it. I can't wait
- I want to leave already cause i hate this temp.!!!
Okay that's enough for now i guess
See ya later
XBIGTONEX
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| SOOO |
[30 Sep 2005|10:56pm] |
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mood |
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Playing mi guitar |
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I haven't updated in forever. I'm slacking...oh no. I did a show in carthage. Was fun minus Ramallah not being able to show up in time. Kid punched a whole through some cardboard and thought he was king kong or something. Fuck that mother fucker son! Uhhhhh....i might be working at the north gate shoppette sooo get fucking STOKED!!!!! YUPPPP. Hehehehe. Uhhh school's fun. I love it. Senior year is a great one. My tat is awesome and i get the color in it tomorrow night!! I'm stoked. Tomorrow i also get to chill with Brittany and maybe Michelle if she crawls out from under that rock of hers. Tonight i went to a football game at IR. It was good. We murdered Potsdam sooo it was a good time. I'm getting sleepy. Fuck the rest of this shit
Better leave them comments or you're going to get hit by the coalition of the willing!!! 40 nations ready to ROLL SON!!!
XAnthonyX
P.S. Carthage faggots are really amusing. I love their retarded comments. Especially "Straight Edge Fuck"
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| El Chinga Su Madre, Vamos a bailar! Vamos a bailar! |
[11 Aug 2005|06:20pm] |
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Los Tucanes de Tijuana y Ramon Ayala |
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So I really enjoy working at Sears. Tomorrow i get paid 400 something. It's perdy nice. I'm not feeling to hot today though. I mean it started off good but as it drags on I start thinking about a LOTTTTT of shit. I start thinking about a couple "someones" and it really fucks with my head. I think that if life is only going to be like that, why try to even enjoy it? No i'm not committing suicide and i don't need to hear some random stranger tell me that i can call them if i need to talk to someone, cause chances are that i won't. I'd like to know what you think but don't tell me how you'll always be there. That kind of stuff just doesn't do it for me.
Make it hurt one last time please.
I'm so tired of this routine life. I want to meet new people, go to new places, and then enjoy. I'm discovering that today is one of those days that i'd love to just either get away from here and go home to visit, ORRRRRR smash a bat in someones face. That'd be a wonderful stress reliever
Okay i'm done with this. Leave 'em i suppose
XAnthonyX
cout<<"I can't wait until you no longer haunt my mind baby."<<endl;
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| Wouldn't you like to know what i've been doing? |
[27 Jul 2005|04:26pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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music |
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Garden State Soundtrack. Love it |
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Well guess what. It's not that interesting...at all. I've got 3 jobs. Yes not just 2 but 3. I'm currently working at Sears, Sugar Creek, and the Commissary. It's probably the hardest shit i've ever done in my life BUTTTTT my parents still swear i'm the laziest person they know. My bosses all talk about how hard i work and everything but i'm still lazy. Whatever. SOoooooOOoOOOOOoooO. Yeah. I'm curious to know how everybody's life is going....sort of. I really need to quit drinking so much hot chocolate at work cause i neeed to piss like ... No similies Over herrrrrrrrreee. Made some new friends. Jarret moved from clayton to fort drum and he's going to be playing in a new band that matt jerry and me are starting up. It's Called Flame Out In Engine Number One. It's probably going to be a grindcore band. Josh and Gerald are some awesome kids to. All new fresh members of the OSC. Keeping it real nigga what! I started going to summer school but i got dropped from it because i missed more than 3 days....fuck it haha. I'm just going to miss these 2 girls that i talked to. Real nice chicks. SOSOSOSOSOSOSOOOOOOOOOOOOo the word on the streets is that you want the heat! I'm making plans of what i'm going to do after school here. Go to JCC, then switch to Oswego....maybe? hmmm. The other Idea is move to San Antonio and attend UTSA or Trinity. I'd love to go to UTSA. I know i'd get a good job somewhere there. I'd live with my aunt or my grandma for a while and then find a place. I think it'd be good to get a new start but i'm not 100% on that just yet. It's 4:24, i'm still in my Sugar Creek uniform, i taste that hot chocolate still and i'm worried that i will NOT have 178 this friday. Car insurance is the new money eater of my life. At one point it driving out of the area and going to shows but now it's car insurance. All the kids are doing it. I'm kinda apathetic right now. That's what the face will be today. I mean...i'm not happy but i'm not sad. I'm just....whatever. My new favorite movie is called Garden State. You like the notebook? Fuck that movie. Garden State is the real deal son. I've become obsesssed with it...like i have with her. haha my dad's saying this thing looks like a novel. So i guess that means it's time to rap it up.
Leave some messages por va for
XAnthonyX
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